We're Not Going To Take It

Recently Chris Jones blasted sports fans for their common and frequent pronoun faux pas in this article on Grantland.  For starters Grantland is nothing more than a seething pool of self congratulatory ESPN runoff (which, not surprisingly, is more intelligent than the manure ESPN retains).  So it is not the least bit surprising that Jones is taking aim at the hapless meatballs that wish to enjoy the feeling that they are personally intertwined in their favorite team's fortunes.

I get it.  "We" are not a part of the team.  We are rarely welcome on the field.  We aren't in the union.  We aren't invited to board meetings.  We aren't the athletic trainer.  We aren't even the freaking beer vendor.  But we are a part of the equation.  We are the customers.  We pour in the money.  We are subjected to the sponsor's message.  We make noise when the opposing team is trying to hear.  We shout obscenities at LaRussa.  We are emotionally invested.  Technically still not part of the team, but intellectually pistol whipping folks over this technicality is as played out as "Bill from Waukegan" bitching about how "our" offensive line sucks.

It is the equivalent of keeping rabbits out of your garden with a fully automatic assault riffle.  You know what?  Put up a fence.  Put up a fence and keep you and all your precious little veggies in and let all the happy little dolts run around thinking turning their hats inside out makes a difference.

While there are few things in this natural world as creepy as college sports fans (myself included), it is my pleasure to use America's minor leagues to turn the technicality table.  You see despite never paying a dime on tuition or spending a minute in class at the University of Wisconsin, because I pay state taxes, I am a Wisconsin Badger.  And a Fighting Illini.  And a Missouri Tiger.  My drop in bucket eventually helps finance Bret Bielema's bidet and unlike the disposable income I spend on professional teams, this money's going out whether I like it or not. 

This bleeds in to the realm or professional sports as well.  When the Milwaukee Brewers wanted a new stadium, they didn't set up a collection from the players, execs and support staff, they went to the taxpayers.  There are many five county residents that wish they weren't Milwaukee Brewers.

When Champagne Gets In Your Eyes

There weren't as many crazy finishes in the second half of the Brewers 2011 campaign, but there were plenty of great moments and a National League Central Division championship.  The following are my five favorite Brewers games post all star break.

5. August 3: Brewers 10, Cardinals 5 @ Miller Park
Brewers third baseman Casey McGehee certainly had a forgettable season, but this was his day.  His three home runs fueled a big win over the Cardinals and helped launch the Brewers historic August run.

4. August 13: Brewers 1, Pirates 0 @ Miller Park
Filling in for the injured Chris Narveson, Marco Estrada held the Pirates to one hit over five innings and John Axford pitched around a ninth inning lead off triple to further the Pirates Miller Park miseries.

3. August 9: Brewers 5, Cardinals 3 @ Busch Stadium
Once again Casey McGehee played hero against the runner up Cardinals, blasting a tenth inning go ahead RBI double.  Latroy Hawkins picked up the win as part of four scoreless innings from the Milwaukee bullpen.

2. September 11: Brewers 3, Phillies 2 @ Miller Park
Corey Hart, Nyjer Morgan and Ryan Braun registered consecutive two out hits in the seventh inning to turn a 2-1 deficit in to a 3-2 lead.  Yovani Gallardo struck out twelve in picking up his sixteenth win of the season.

1. September 23: Brewers 4, Marlins 1 @ Miller Park
Ryan Braun's three run eighth inning home run snapped a one all tie and sliced the Brewers magic number to one.  A packed Miller Park stuck around to watch the Cubs finish knocking off the Cardinals, clinching the first ever National League Central championship for the Milwaukee Brewers

Road Guest Vol. VII (Tape Delay)

August has seen Abraham bounce from house of foolishness to house of foolishness with sporadic Internet access, but the home office is back up and running and I'm once again ready to show you my geniousness.

Score:  Milwaukee Brewers 10, St. Louis Cardinals 5

Venue:  Miller Park

Game Day:  August 3, 2011

Roadmates:  Mike, John, Murph

MVP:  Casey McGehee 3-4, 3 HR, 5 RBI, 3 R

Recap:  Since July 25 the Brewers have posted a blisteringly good record of 25-5 and have gone from a half game out of first place to pacing the rest of the division by nine and one half games.  Early in this run I had the pleasure of attending the rubber game of a three game series between the Brewers and second place Cardinals at Miller Park.  At the time the Brewers led the Cardinals by four and one half games.  McGehee led an offensive barrage with his three home runs, all off Cardinals mid season acquisition Edwin Jackson, covering up a shaky start by Randy Wolf.  I was magically inebriated to the disappointment of the Cardinal fans in our section, but through my charm and guile I was able to avoid fights, ejections and vomiting.

A Post Card And A Can Of Worms

The "first half" of the Milwaukee Brewers season was chock full of exciting games.  The following are my five favorite in particular order.

5. June 8: Brewers 7, Mets 6 @ Miller Park
    After Kameron Loe turned a 2-1 eighth inning Brewers lead in to a 6-2 deficit the Brewers battled back in their half of the inning.  Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder each knocked in two runs to tie the game.  In the bottom of the ninth Nyjer Morgan doubled in Craig Counsell for the walk off win, spawning perhaps the greatest post game interview of all time.

4. May 20: Brewers 7, Rockies 6 (14) @ Miller Park
     A back and forth regulation nine innings left the Brewers and Rockies tied at four.  The Rockies drew first blood in extra frames plating a run in the thirteenth, but Yuniesky Betancourt answered with a solo home run.  The Rockies notched a single tally in the fourteenth as well, but this time Fielder put the Rockies down for good launching a walk off two run shot in the bottom of the frame.


3. July 10: Brewers 4, Reds 3 @ Miller Park
    In the final game before the All Star Game the Brewers entered the bottom of the ninth inning trailing 3-2, but the bottom of the Brewers roster refused to lose.  Mark Kotsay singled in Morgan to tie the game before Counsell's sacrifice fly drove in George Kottaras sealing the club's second walk off win vs. Reds closer and former Brewer Francisco Cordero in three days.

2. June 12: Brewers 4, Cardinals 3 @ Miller Park
    The Brewers trailed by three heading to the bottom of the sixth inning when the bats awoke.  Braun and Kotsay each knocked in a run to set up a two run, go head bomb from Fielder.  Shaun Marcum, Loe and John Axford took care of the rest and the Cardinals were swept out of Milwaukee.

1. May 28: Brewers 3, Giants 2 @ Miller Park
    No win displayed the change in leadership and philosophy Ron Roenicke has brought to the Brewers than this game.  Randy Wolf and Loe coughed up a two run lead in bottom of the eighth inning with help from a Casey McGehee error, setting the stage for a stunning Brewers victory.  In the bottom of the ninth Braun reached third with one out and the pinch hitting Jonathan Lucroy dropped down a perfect suicide squeeze bunt for the thrilling walk off victory.

Bonus Fun

One of my favorite parts of the baseball season is follow the current Brewers as they move up the club's all time statistical lists.  Here is a list of current Brewers in the top 50 of some of my favorite categories.  Current Brewers will be listed in bold behind the historical Brewer they trail.  All stat totals reflect action before tonight's game.

Runs
7.    Ben Oglivie 567
8.    Prince Fielder 529
10.  Gorman Thomas 524
11.  Rickie Weeks 513
14.  Jeromy Burnitz 467
15.  Ryan Braun 454
17.  George Scott 402
18.  Corey Hart 389
43.  Marquis Grissom 216
44.  Craig Counsell 210

Hits
10.  Jeff Cirillo 1000
11.  Prince Fielder 921
13.  Gorman Thomas 815
14.  Ryan Braun  809
18.  Sixto Lezcano 749
19.  Corey Hart 719
20.  Jeromy Burnitz 714
21.  Rickie Weeks 713
41.  Pat Listach 420
42.  Craig Counsell 415
48.  Ernest Riles 364
49.  Casey McGehee 354

Doubles
9.    B.J Surhoff 194
10.  Prince Fielder 185
13.  Gorman Thomas 172
14.  Ryan Braun 168
15.  Cory Hart 163
22.  Jose Valentin 132
23.  Rickie Weeks 131
37.  Dale Sveum 80
38.  Craig Counsell 77
40.  Johnny Briggs 76
41.  Casey McGehee 73

Triples
5.    Cecil Cooper 33
6.    Corey Hart 26
6.    Rickie Weeks 26
9.    B.J. Surhoff 23
10.  Ryan Braun 22
17.  Jose Valentin 18
18.  Craig Counsell 17
48.  Dale Sveum 10
49.  Prince Fielder 9

Home Runs
1.    Robin Yount 251
2.    Prince Fielder 214
9.    Paul Molitor 160
10.  Ryan Braun 144
14.  George Scott 115
15.  Corey Hart 108
16.  Rickie Weeks 106
38.  Glenn Braggs 45
39.  Casey McGehee 44

Runs Batted In
5.    Ben Oglivie 685
6.    Prince Fielder 608
12.  B.J. Surhoff 524
13.  Ryan Braun 482
19.  Ted Simmons 394
20.  Corey Hart 388
25.  Jose Valentin 343
26.  Rickie Weeks 304
38.  Jose Hernandez 210
39.  Casey McGehee 206

Stolen Bases
9.    B.J. Surhoff 102
10.  Rickie Weeks 98
11.  Ryan Braun 82
13.  Cecil Cooper 77
14.  Corey Hart 74
39.  Geoff Jenkins 31
40.  Craig Counsell 30

Wins
15.  Ricky Bones 47
16.  Yovani Gallardo 46
34.  Steve Woodard 25
35.  Manny Parra 24
40.  Bob Wickman 21
41.  Chris Narveson 20
45.  Randy Wolf 19

Strike Outs
7.    Cal Eldred 686
8.    Yovani Gallardo 629
19.  Dan Plesac 448
20.  Manny Parra 418
32.  Bill Parsons 280
33.  Chris Narveson 272
41.  Glendon Rusch 233
42.  Randy Wolf 224

Saves
10.  Doug Jones 49
11.  John Axford 48

Road Guest Vol. IV, V, VI

Just a couple short weeks ago I embarked on an exploratory tour of the east coast that included visiting three different MLB stadiums.  Here are the accounts:

Score:  Chicago Cubs 12, Milwaukee Brewers 7

Venue:  Wrigley Field

Game Day:  June 16, 2011

Roadmates:  Ben (friend)

MVP:  Kosuke Fukudome 3-5, 3B, HR, 4 RBI, 3 R

Recap:  I hate when the wind blows out of Wrigley.  It takes a perfectly good baseball game and makes it in to a circus.  I had attended eight games at Wrigley prior to this game and never once was the wind blowing out.  It was every bit as awful as expected.  Everything was a home run.  The Brewers took advantage early hitting homers in the first and second innings, the Cubs followed suit hitting home runs in the third, sixth and seventh innings.  Brewers pitchers Zach Greinke, Daniel Ray Herrera and Sergio combined to suck.  Beautiful day, Ben's first game at Wrigley.....ruined by wind.

Score:  Milwaukee Brewers 4, Boston Red Sox 2

Venue:  Fenway Park

Game Day:  June 18, 2011

Roadmates:  Flying solo

MVP:  Randy Wolf 1-0, 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 K

Recap:  First things first, Fenway is baseball heaven.  Sorry St. Louis, sorry Chicago, but Fenway was like no other.  It has the historic charm of Wrigley, with out being an out dated pile of crap.  Due to the game time change to accommodate the Bruins Stanley Cup parade I had to leave after the third inning to catch my train to Providence, RI.  The three innings were highly entertaining as all six runs were scored in those frames.  I was seated next to a couple incredibly knowledgeable fans.....Brewers fans!  Boston was awesome, Fenway was awesome, Randy Wolf was awesome, I'll definitely come back, maybe for a whole game next time.

Score:  Washington Nationals 1, Seattle Mariners 0

Venue:  Nationals Park

Game Day:  June 23, 2011

Roadmates:  Katie (friend)

MVP:  Jason Marquis  8 IP, 0 ER, 4 K

Recap:  It had been quite a while since I had attended a baseball game in which I did not have a rooting interest and I was treated to a stress free experience of my favorite baseball score, one to nothing.  Both teams pitched very well led by starters Michael Pineda and Marquis.  I was more well wishing for Seattle, as the Brewers originally were a Seattle franchise.  A late pinch runner for Mariners first baseman Justin Smoak forced Adam Kennedy to play first in the ninth.  Kennedy's inexperience cost Seattle as he was unable to catch a playable foul ball and made a poor throwing decision resulting in a fielder's choice, no out that set up a bases loaded, one out situation for former Brewer Laynce Nix.  Nix delivered a sac fly and the Nats walked off winners.  Bizarrely Nats manager Jim Riggleman also walked off...off the job, following the game.  It was a well played game in the Nats generically new stadium.  I'll probably go back to see the Brewers play there, but other than that the Nats are not much of a draw.

Stars And Abrahams Forever

I forced myself to wait until June to fill out my first MLB All Star ballot.  The first list is my deserved All Star team.....hey, sometimes the Brewers are deserving, OK?  The second list is the All Abraham team, which is more a collection of guys I want to see play wiffle ball in the back yard.  Brewers and former Brewers very desrving here.  Since MLB sucks and doesn't let the fans vote pitchers, I picked a starter and closer for each team.  I'll probably fill out another serious ballot in July as some players had similar statistics.

AMERICAN LEAGUE ALL STARS

1B Adrian Gonzalez, Boston
2B Robinson Cano, New York
SS Asdrubal Cabrera, Cleveland
3B Adrain Beltre, Texas
C   Alex Avila, Detroit
OF Jose Bautista, Toronto
OF Curtis Granderson, New York
OF Matt Joyce, Tampa Bay
SP Josh Beckett, Boston
CP Kyle Farnsworth, Tampa Bay

NATIONAL LEAGUE ALL STARS

1B Prince Fielder, Milwaukee
2B Brandon Phillips, Cincinnati
SS Jose Reyes, New York
3B Chipper Jones, Atlanta
C   Jonathan Lucroy, Milwaukee
OF Lance Berkman, St. Louis
OF Ryan Braun, Milwaukee
OF Matt Kemp, Los Angeles
SP Jair Jurrjens, Atlanta
CP J.J. Putz, Arizona

AMERICAN LEAGUE ABRAHAMS

1B Matt LaPorta, Cleveland
2B Ben Zobrist, Tampa Bay
SS Alexei Ramirez, Chicago
3B Kevin Youkillis, Boston
C   Jason Kendall, Kansas City
OF Shin-Soo Choo, Cleveland
OF Jacoby Ellsbury, Boston
OF Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle
SP CC Sabathia, New York
CP Kyle Farnsworth, Tampa Bay

NATIONAL LEAGUE ABRAHAMS

1B Lyle Overbay, Pittsburgh
2B Bill Hall, Houston
SS Craig Counsell, Milwaukee
3B Casey McGehee, Milwaukee
C   Jonathan Lucroy, Milwaukee
OF Ryan Braun, Milwaukee
OF Carlos Lee, Houston
OF Andrew, McCutchen, Pittsburgh
SP Shaun Marcum, Milwaukee
CP John Axford, Milwaukee

Road Guest Vol. III (The Revenge Of Steve Sparks)

Score:  Milwaukee Brewers 3, Colorado Rockies 1

Venue:  Miller Park

Roadmates:  Gary (dad), Carol (mom), Lauren (wife), Mia (daughter), Isabella (daughter), Solomon (son)

MVP:  Ryan Braun 1-4, 3B, 2 RBI, 1 R

Recap:  When I was fifteen years old I attended Brewers game on April 13th, 1996.  Brewers starting pitcher and knuckleballer Steve Sparks held the Kansas City Royals to just one hit over eight masterful innings of the greatest pitching performance I've seen live to this day.  One small problem.  The one hit was a home run to Michael Tucker following two walks.  The Brewers were only able to muster two runs of offense thanks in part to John Jaha's fat ass not being able to score from second on a ninth inning single, making Sparks a tough luck loser.  Coincidentally I attended a Brewers game in 2004 where Sparks ended up winning a 15 inning affair as a reliever for the Arizona Diamondbacks.  Thanks Steve.

I suppose that is either here nor there as May 22, 2011 was Rockies starting pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez's turn to suffer a Sparksesque indignation.  Jimenez coerced the Brewers offense into a series of weak ground balls, strike outs and feeble pop ups allowing just two hits through eight masterful innings.  But the first Brewers hit was a Braun two out, two strike, two RBI triple following Carlos Gomez and Rickie Weeks reaching base on a walk and hit by pitch respectively.  Braun also scored on a throwing error, providing the Brewers with all the runs they would need in sending Jimenez to the knuckleball circle of baseball hell.

It was beautiful day in Milwaukee, the Brewers stayed hot winning for the eleventh time in fifteen games, the Rockies were swept out of Milwaukee and we had a birthday celebration for grandpa Puder we will never forget.